During my career as a Special Educator, I kept some notes and memories of experiences I felt were worth sharing some day. I also
felt I wanted to leave some other stories with a positive message to counteract much of the negativity that so often surrounds us.
Along came the shock of our lives for my wife, Helen, our youngest daughter, Sheri, and myself. Our daughter, Denise, was diagnosed with a very serious form of cancer.
One of the clear wake-up calls for me that day was a visit with a hospital chaplain. He said, “Well, the problem is, you are a father, and fathers are supposed to fix things for their kids, and you can’t fix this!”
That began the grieving for the loss of her health and the feeling of total helplessness. Years of living in a different world began as chemotherapy, surgery, traveling, therapy and moving took place. Personal discussions with several doctors regarding clinical trials brought no success. Sadly, after a very courageous five-year battle, we lost Denise at the age of 32.
Then came the “Why”, which we all experience and question, in one way or another. Where is our God hiding now? Why do bad things happen to good people? What sense does it make to take a bright, talented, compassionate young lady like Denise? (She was one of the early female graduates in the field of electronics engineering from Notre Dame in the mid 80’s.)
But at the end of the “Why” questioning and discussion came a fairly clear answer: “We live in an imperfect world”, said a pastor I was talking to.
So yes, we know tragedies of all kinds happen to people all around us every day. He said, “Christ’s life is an excellent example.” HOWEVER, IT IS CERTAINLY DIFFERENT WHEN IT HITS HOME AND BECOMES VERY PERSONAL. That is where the title of my book came from, Lessons from an Imperfect World. I now had new energy and reason to complete and publish the book with my stories and some about the courage of Denise.
In 2005, we printed 5,000 copies. No marketing was done and very little distribution or sales took place.
In 2006, I was asked to speak at our Rotary club. At that time, I gave a copy to all members that wanted one. A member, our local Director of Oncology, had read it and we talked a bit and I agreed to give copies to the Mid-Michigan Medical Center to be given to cancer survivors after they completed their chemotherapy and/or radiation treatments. To date, well over 6,000 copies have been given to the Center and other locations listed below, in memory of our daughter. My family and I consider that an honor.
Over the past ten years I have enjoyed a lot of very kind support and encouragement from many people. Several of their endorsements of the book appear as “Praise” on the back cover and front pages of the new second printing done in mid-2016. 10,000 copies of the “Tenth Anniversary Edition” were printed. I am very honored and pleased that their kind words will now find their way into 10,000 homes as a part of the book. A Foreword was also added to the book along with some personal comments regarding my observations over the past ten years.
The plan for the newest 10,000 books includes continuing to DONATE TWO BOOKS to people that are hurting, FOR EVERY BOOK SOLD. Copies will be given to cancer centers and cancer support organizations, veteran hospice families, veteran couples’ counseling, veteran’s homes, children’s grief centers, grief groups, women’s and children’s shelters, jails and prisons, survivors of suicide, homeless shelters, homes for the terminally ill, soup kitchens, as well as Ronald MacDonald Houses and others.
When one-third of the books are sold we can repeat the above and donate another two-thirds. Books are available for purchase, both paperback and eBook, from my website and Amazon, as well as Barnes and Noble.
Friends have said, ”This has been therapy”... and, “this was help with your healing.” I answer, “Yes… and it still is.” Another said, “Perhaps you have found a purpose for your pain.” Yes, I am thankful and pleased that I found a positive and helpful way to play the cards I was dealt. Again, all of us are surrounded every day by people who are hurting in one way or another.
On page 20 of my book I share, “One of the most important reasons we are here is to be of help to one another.” I believe that wholeheartedly, and so the book and I will continue our journey.
Harry Grether and his wife Helen lost a daughter to cancer. He is a retired special education teacher and administrator and the author of “Lessons from an Imperfect World.” He has been a hospice and Cancer Services volunteer for nearly 15 years and was trained as a volunteer for the Toni and Trish House for the Care of the Terminally Ill. He serves on the Board of The Children’s Grief Center Great Lakes Bay Region. His website is www.harrygrether.com, and email is harrygrether@gmail.com.
As of 10-25-18
felt I wanted to leave some other stories with a positive message to counteract much of the negativity that so often surrounds us.
Along came the shock of our lives for my wife, Helen, our youngest daughter, Sheri, and myself. Our daughter, Denise, was diagnosed with a very serious form of cancer.
One of the clear wake-up calls for me that day was a visit with a hospital chaplain. He said, “Well, the problem is, you are a father, and fathers are supposed to fix things for their kids, and you can’t fix this!”
That began the grieving for the loss of her health and the feeling of total helplessness. Years of living in a different world began as chemotherapy, surgery, traveling, therapy and moving took place. Personal discussions with several doctors regarding clinical trials brought no success. Sadly, after a very courageous five-year battle, we lost Denise at the age of 32.
Then came the “Why”, which we all experience and question, in one way or another. Where is our God hiding now? Why do bad things happen to good people? What sense does it make to take a bright, talented, compassionate young lady like Denise? (She was one of the early female graduates in the field of electronics engineering from Notre Dame in the mid 80’s.)
But at the end of the “Why” questioning and discussion came a fairly clear answer: “We live in an imperfect world”, said a pastor I was talking to.
So yes, we know tragedies of all kinds happen to people all around us every day. He said, “Christ’s life is an excellent example.” HOWEVER, IT IS CERTAINLY DIFFERENT WHEN IT HITS HOME AND BECOMES VERY PERSONAL. That is where the title of my book came from, Lessons from an Imperfect World. I now had new energy and reason to complete and publish the book with my stories and some about the courage of Denise.
In 2005, we printed 5,000 copies. No marketing was done and very little distribution or sales took place.
In 2006, I was asked to speak at our Rotary club. At that time, I gave a copy to all members that wanted one. A member, our local Director of Oncology, had read it and we talked a bit and I agreed to give copies to the Mid-Michigan Medical Center to be given to cancer survivors after they completed their chemotherapy and/or radiation treatments. To date, well over 6,000 copies have been given to the Center and other locations listed below, in memory of our daughter. My family and I consider that an honor.
Over the past ten years I have enjoyed a lot of very kind support and encouragement from many people. Several of their endorsements of the book appear as “Praise” on the back cover and front pages of the new second printing done in mid-2016. 10,000 copies of the “Tenth Anniversary Edition” were printed. I am very honored and pleased that their kind words will now find their way into 10,000 homes as a part of the book. A Foreword was also added to the book along with some personal comments regarding my observations over the past ten years.
The plan for the newest 10,000 books includes continuing to DONATE TWO BOOKS to people that are hurting, FOR EVERY BOOK SOLD. Copies will be given to cancer centers and cancer support organizations, veteran hospice families, veteran couples’ counseling, veteran’s homes, children’s grief centers, grief groups, women’s and children’s shelters, jails and prisons, survivors of suicide, homeless shelters, homes for the terminally ill, soup kitchens, as well as Ronald MacDonald Houses and others.
When one-third of the books are sold we can repeat the above and donate another two-thirds. Books are available for purchase, both paperback and eBook, from my website and Amazon, as well as Barnes and Noble.
Friends have said, ”This has been therapy”... and, “this was help with your healing.” I answer, “Yes… and it still is.” Another said, “Perhaps you have found a purpose for your pain.” Yes, I am thankful and pleased that I found a positive and helpful way to play the cards I was dealt. Again, all of us are surrounded every day by people who are hurting in one way or another.
On page 20 of my book I share, “One of the most important reasons we are here is to be of help to one another.” I believe that wholeheartedly, and so the book and I will continue our journey.
Harry Grether and his wife Helen lost a daughter to cancer. He is a retired special education teacher and administrator and the author of “Lessons from an Imperfect World.” He has been a hospice and Cancer Services volunteer for nearly 15 years and was trained as a volunteer for the Toni and Trish House for the Care of the Terminally Ill. He serves on the Board of The Children’s Grief Center Great Lakes Bay Region. His website is www.harrygrether.com, and email is harrygrether@gmail.com.
As of 10-25-18